Helping others to help myself

It is near impossible for me to get something done if I don’t have 100% peaked interest in it at this very moment. Occasionally I can hyper focus on things, but that hyper focus rarely finish things. Hyper focus is like eating all the desert, leaving behind a plate full of broccoli.

I have noticed however that most of the times when I have actually finished something, I was, in my mind, helping someone else.

Reviewing the judicious documentation of my life, that is my journal, I can say it for near about 100% of the things that I actually finished. The force behind crossing the finishing line was either accountability, or my belief that someone else is relying on me.

None of my own “side projects” have ever seen a ray of light, but most things I started for others were finished. Mostly that was presentations, processes, and very personally tailored learning materials.

Reviewing my journal, I noticed a pattern developing over the course of last year. Whenever I had an idea that I wanted to see done, I tried to frame it in somebody else’ canvas. If I could do that, I shared the idea with the person and got them involved as a partner. Chances of success I’ve observed were directly proportional to how much I care for the person. Some of the things I started that I couldn’t fit in to help someone else are still in “TODO” state, despite the long and clear road-maps I created for them.

This discovery of transforming emotions that come easily to me, into what I believe I severely lack has sown seeds of new hope. Perhaps I will be able to replace my need of accountability to get things done with this. I don’t know if it is vain need of acknowledgment, or goodness of heart, but it works.

I have started taking actions to optimize this. I am as anti-social as they come, and that, now I believe, is a problem to be solved if I want to increase my happiness.

Most of my activities with other people don’t register to my brain as something it should remember. My mind is often meeting people for first time despite several previous encounters. That is the first thing I am going to tackle. Concrete step I am taking for this, is to start using Monica to keep track of my social life. Next step would be to actually start making effort to socialize. I suppose saying “hello” to my colleagues every morning could be a good start.

comments powered by Disqus